Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Does time heal everything?

Who said time heals everything? It’s been five years, yes five long years, and the pain hasn’t healed at all. Maybe it’s just got easier to bare the pain, easier to cope with things. Had it healed, maybe I would have had a reason to celebrate this day!

Wish I could celebrate it as any other festival, but no. I’m unable to, for two reasons. One I have got used to the amount of pain and memories associated with this particular day bring in and the other, somebody else, who like me might have had millions of dreams before entering the wedlock on this day, now might have same million reasons to curse her fate, curse this day!

A day which was supposed to be a “Red Letter Day”, as someone had mentioned to me very proudly, is in no way remains so. If not for anybody, at least for the girl, ok let me call her my friend to make things simple! After getting divorce, I don’t think either she or her family will ever be able to rejoice this day, as it also happens to be her wedding anniversary…

It’s been five years, five long years, since I celebrated Ganesha Chaturthi, the way we did before my wedding. I thought, maybe this year I would, but no. Her hapless face came to my mind and the day started badly.

I did celebrate Gowri festival yesterday and I was happy too, even though I missed my family very badly. I thought I would manage to celebrate Ganesha festival too, but some memories are too strong to forget, some pains are too hard to let go.

Every single word echoes in my ears, the words which I had not expected, which I can’t forget till my last breath. As years pass by, I see how the amount of pain I have gone through is bouncing back on the perpetrators and all I say is time doesn’t heal the pain, but it makes us mature enough to bare the pain, easier to cope with things.

Today, standing here, away from those people, away from those taunting words, I look back and console myself at least I’m able to do so many things, at least I have learnt something – to face life, to face good and unfortunately, often bad people, to wait patiently and courage to look back into the past, into the good and bad memories.

Now, at this stage, I don’t think I have that many regrets, of taking decisions and of waiting patiently to see my day coming, even though it has been a long and lone journey. I think people who made me to wait to go through this journey have realized it, if not, they will, very soon… And I wish at least next year, I will be able to celebrate this festival, with due sympathies to my friend, hope she gets all the courage to face those people and the world, and I’m sure she will!

Happy Gowri and Ganesha Festival J